Life Lessons with Lifetime

Taking a break from all of the work that I have had to do I decided to take in a Lifetime Movie.
They always have such terrible lives that typically turn out well in the end.

By the end of the movie the terrible husband is in jail, the diseases are beaten, the children come back home and the widow finds her way back to happiness after losing the love of her life. All anyone has to do is try and never give up.

During the commercials there are more life saving tips. Surely the widow bought the under the bed shoe rack for 14.95...I mean how did the widow pull it together without one of these. Life is as simple as that you know? Get an under the bed organizer and suddenly your life is as right as rain.

That's all it takes? A Super stacker this, a Wonder garment hanger that...

I finally have it down...all you need to do in life is watch Lifetime and take notes... and spend a few installments worth of some dollar amount .95 and that's it...

The sad part is some people actually do live their live that way.

*sigh* I'm going back to work lol

Oh Yea I'll Say That Something...

So I decided to be truly active and purposeful. In one of my most recent blogs I discussed the idea that I was not being as helpful to others as I need to be. Despite my greatest efforts of the past I decided that I would take the time to help. Sorta going with the teach a man to fish approach. Well man, fish, or horse you can take a thirsty fool to water but you sure as hell can't keep that fool from dehydrating.

I do as much as I can to ensure my spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical hydration. It kills me when others don't do the same for themselves but want to suck you dry. Then they have the audacity to look shocked and surprised...upset even. How dare you NOT take the time to foster their foolishness. You vile wicked person you.

As I have often done I put what I want...NO need to do to the side and instead aide someone else. This time I did it in the hopes of being a teacher. Let me show you and not just tell you. Sadly it didn't work. I don't wanna hold anyone's hand...I really don't. It's the very reason I haven't had children.

I'm a woman but that doesn't mean that I intend to nurture the world and lift everyone up. I just can't do it and now I am burned out. I am burned out on helping and caring.

Fend for yourselves people...fend for yourselves...

Poltergeist...


Your past always catches up with you. I mean this is simply an FYI kinda thing. If you have something from your past that is unresolved better believe that it will one day rear it's ugly, pretty, sexy, smart, annoying, murderous etc head.

No matter how hard you try to live past something it may not stay away. One day when you are in the kitchen cutting vegetables, or driving down the road, or working out at the gym it may very well return. Then you'll have to deal with it. Let's face it...even if you chose not to deal with it you have decided how it will be dealt with for ignoring is an action. So is it better to sink your teeth into it and handle the situation? I mean either way it's back...like poltergeist there it is. Suddenly the ball is in your court and you were simply living your life...minding your own neck.

What if you can't ignore it? What if the idea that it is back is enough to make you say, "Hmm maybe there is something to be handled here after all". Now you're dealing with dealing with what's back and how you feel about it all at once...wtf?

If feelings live on and if people never do go away entirely and if cold cases can be solved then, I can't help but wonder what happens if the past doesn't stay that way? (shout outs to SJP and Bushell)

Purple Rain on Graduation Day...A Mid Morning's Thought...

I just had this thought and I haven't flushed it out yet....so to quote Prince, I was dreaming when I wrote this forgive me if it goes astray...

Trying to be happy or getting to a higher level of living isn't easy.... WAIT this needs a lil PSA first. When I say higher level please don't get it twisted. I am not really talking about money. I mean money is great but there is much more to life than the material. I just hope people don't miss this message. Anyway, I now return you to your regularly scheduled blog already in progress.... You meet plenty of opposition and road blocks and difficult people and for me, my own criticism of my work and self. Now with all those things factored in the very last thing any one of us needs are purposeless people, or to be a purposeless person ourselves.

Again to quote Prince, I was dreaming when I wrote this so sue me if it goes too fast...

I have been the kind of person that enjoys people. I love laughing and dancing; having a good drink and good conversation. Of parties I have often said, "If the music is good then so am I". Even at times when it wasn't good I made the best of it. Lately, to get deep for a moment...if I may...the music hasn't been good anywhere. Stay with me reader...I'm not talking about clubs.
Things seem so lackluster...boring and no I am not depressed, I'm disgusted. I find myself less and less concerned with the human condition since people don't have much respect for themselves, the government seems to have no respect for the people, and my little cousin wants to be Hannah Montana for Hall'oween.

People seem to run themselves in circles...my marriage is unhappy, some of my friends say, well then make an effort to change the situation. I need to get a job, a family member mentions...well you shouldn't have run your mouth at you last job and the 8 you had prior and you wouldn't have gotten fired again. I don't know if I like this guy I'm seeing, other friends utter...well then stop seeing him, yea it's that simple kids. I keep gaining weight, another may mention...well put down the cake and chips and try to remember that BK is not in the major food groups and go take a walk. I don't know who I am and lack a sense of self, I surprisingly heard from a truly unexpected source...well tell your family to kiss your ass and go do what makes you happy, you're grown damn it, you have worlds of suggestions for everyone else, take your own advice.

As you well may have guessed my advice falls on deaf ears and after years of giving it...what's the point? This morning it occurred to me that these maybe purposeless people to me and I feel like I maybe a purposeless person to them. It's annoying me cause I am not helping them...what is the point exactly? And no...you can't help everyone. I wouldn't want to... If I did I'd still be in case management using my Psych degree.

Again to quote Prince, So if I gotta die I'm gonna listen to my body tonight...

I'm just saying...life is so short...TOO short to be annoyed, unhappy, tired, miserable, unhealthy and forlorn. Why not just do what makes you happy? Why not just let go and go for it? You don't have to be purposeless and downtrodden if you decide that you don't want to be. I sure as hell don't want to be.

If Christians are right and there is no reincarnation then this is it people...one chance is all you get. What's the sense in making a holy mess of it and then sitting in the mess...complaining. Make yourself a purposeful person and do something about it.

To quote Kanye West, Lock yourself in a room doing 5 beats day for 3 summers...

People think me a fool, a workaholic, and disconnected but; I know something Kanye knew. Shit doesn't come because you want it to and just because you want it to. You need to work for it. So if something has you down get on your grind and fix it. If you don't want to fix it then live in it and stop complaining to me...I'm busy, and this was just my second summer.

Dreaming a Harmless Lunch and Blood Splatter?


Let me say that I stay having strange dreams... messed up, odd, scary, strange ass dreams. I don't have to have anything on my mind to dream them I don't have to eat anything questionable before bed...nothing at all seems to make them come, or go. Well wait that isn't completely true. Stress makes them way more vivid...hence the one I am about to share with you...

A bit more background is that people tend to die in my dreams...yea I know that is not good but it DOES happen. Usually it is my friend D that causes the killing to take place. Then I have to grab the trash bags, cleaner, black light and luminol to make sure that no one gets caught.

This time it's on me...In my defense...it was her gun, ok that doesn't help but it WAS....


D and I found ourselves in Australia. Apparently we were there because our schedules just happened to work out that way. We were rich and well off though. We were walking down a street in a residential neighborhood when a kangaroo began to chase us. It was about 8 ft tall...seriously, and evil too...frothing at the mouth. So we ran until it chased into an alley and we went into a yard and then into the back door of a house.

We thought we'd be safe but the kangaroo could open doors. We opened the front door and hid in a bathroom and the kangaroo went out of the front door and went away. We were scared and sweaty from running and D needed to wash her face. She started touching stuff in the kitchen and grabbed some grapes and I started wiping off door handles and wall switches. I was very concerned with finger prints.

We were watching to make sure the kangaroo was gone and were about two seconds from walking out of the house when the owners came in. They were naturally curious as to who we were and why we found ourselves in their home. They were really mad. We both tried to explain but they wouldn't listen. They called the police asking them about laws and Interpol trying to report us. One minute they seemed to get that we weren't there to hurt them or steal and then the next minute they were ranting and raving about how we weren't going to get away with it. They just wouldn't believe us.

D had a huge silver gun in her purse...a 45. (Told you it was hers) I took it, told her to wait by the front door. Her job was to keep watch for the kangaroo and anyone else. With gun the concealed I asked them again to understand. I even showed them were the kangaroo had shit in the house. They recognized it as kangaroo dung but still they decided to press charges. I told them that I was truly disappointed in their choice and found them annoying.
So I shot them both in the head point blank, perfect precision and timing. 2 shots a piece.
The wife's head flew back emptying on the wall and counter. Husband I don't recall, but knew he was shot.

I calmly walked to the front door where D was still eating grapes. I handed her the gun back
she handed me some grapes and said, Dude, they wouldn't listen, there wasn't another choice.
We calmly walked down the front steps and went on to ...whatever.

Now there is a joke here. I told D about this crazy dream yesterday. She had called me on her lunch break and just happened to be walking into Subway when she uttered the words, "So you just grabbed the gun and shot them?"....I should mention that D lives in Philly...aka the City Of Brotherly Love...aka Eagle ville...aka KILL A DELPHIA....so naturally she was met with quite a few stares. She baked out for a moment and we both had a healthy laugh. I told her that she should have told them to, Mind their's before they got some of the same...but I am sure that would have cause some sort of issue with cops and homicide.

The homicide rate in Kill a del is one of the highest in the country. I think that is part of the reason shows like this and dreams like this don't phase me anymore. Art is imitating life and life is imitating art and people are dying and pretending to dying on the big and small screen. We are becoming largely desensitized and it is scary. Think back what was acceptable when you were a child and think about what is available for entertainment now...scary huh...

Unacceptable

It astounds me how people just do things. You ever notice how people just do things. They just
decide and do and they rarely take into account that their actions will affect others. Since others don't matter.

Just like when I fell at my local grocery store a few weeks back. Little did Mr Midnight Machine Mopper realize that him failing to put up a sign, or clean up behind his machine would cause me personally to suffer.

Or that guy that cut you off on the highway, made you spill your coffee...your steaming hot $12.00 grande - cappa - latte - mocha - skim - with extra sugar that you mortgaged your house to afford...and you swerved to avoid a bus full of school children, only to hit the guard rail. Now you're missing a day of work, getting higher insurance premiums, paying for towing, nursing a scalded leg all because someone else should have left home 5 minutes earlier.

Or when people have children and because they find them cutesy and lovable you should too. You should be willing to watch them, bathe them, feed them...just cause...pffffffft. They get a night of passion you get stains on the sofa and stomping feet and are expected to smile when doing so.

At the risk of pissing someone off or disturbing the hive... this is just plain unacceptable.

McSame and Falin Insult Me...


McCain Insults Clinton Supporters


I absolutely adore the article linked above. Hit it up then read below:

Since the moment that McCain's choice was made I've been blasting blogs and tellin' em why I'm mad on air (www.900amwurd.com Weds 9-10pm), I'm not sure if all women are getting it and that terrifies me...

I agree 110% that McCain, Obama, and Clinton each faced their own set of challenges during this long process. Still society is what it is and I expected no less, after all McCain is old, Obama is black and Clinton is indeed a woman. Sadly not all Americans are grown up enough to see them as politicians and weigh their issues ignoring age, skin and gender but, I'm off topic a bit...What really gets me is that now Palin is attempting to ride Clinton's shirt tails and throw jabs at Obama. She better hold on tight...it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Palin is no Clinton. Plain and simple. Yes, she's a woman and is successful in her own right; it was tough, I'm sure to be an almost beauty queen(she didn't win. She was beat by the 1st African American to ever win the title of Ms Alaska...Foreshadowing perhaps?), be married, take 6 years and attend 4 or more colleges to complete a bachelor's degree in I'm not sure what, have 5 children, be a grandmother before 45, to be PTA President, a Hockey Mom, City Councilwoman, Mayor of a small town, Governor of a state, in which she supported their session from the country she now purports to have the ability to be 2nd in command of...riigghhtt.

Palin is ready to change a diaper, go fishing, and govern her state but she is not near ready to lead me anywhere or in anything. I feel no source of certainty that she could handle answering that phone at 3 am if she had to; which at this time is a very likely situation.
This country is now in conflict with Russia, has troops dropping like flies in the Middle East (whether the surge has been successful or not is not the point here, a death is a death), people have no health care but illness and disease are increasing, people are losing houses, and jobs (6.1% unemployment rate!!), AND losing limbs trying to get a tank of gas and GOP is begging (it's what they all do) me to believe in their twisted version of a historical election?

They want me to vote for a man who at his age would be the first to ever bid, run, win, and be sworn in as president; along side someone who, as most people recognize has less experience than the guy they're trying to beat...Really?

I am a Democrat (always have been, likely always will be...not party switching unlike Lieberman...WTF was that by the way?) and either Clinton or Obama could've had my vote during the primaries but I elected for Change.(In large part due to his health care policies and not just because he looks like me) On Nov. 4th I will elect Change happily in voting a second time for Obama. McCain has not spoken to me as a female by picking Palin. They both insult me, they insult Clinton and her 18 million cracks and Democrats across the board. Now don't get me wrong I don't LOVE Clinton...but she surpasses Palin.

Palin and Clinton have few things in common...they don't agree on abortion, the war, health care, gas prices, the economy, taxes or mortgages...things that matter to me. They are women, and mothers...that's it and it isn't enough for my vote. McCain must think me a fool.